But it would leave less time for innovative “Yankees Suck” chants

I found these chants on a Swedish messageboard for soccer fans of the more harcorde variety, but they are actually from England, glorifying a scruffy, bearded player:

He’s brave
He’s never had a shave
OUR CAVEMAN
OUR CAVEMAN

Captain Caveman
What a f*cking brave man
Captain caveman
He’s our man

everywhere we goooo
EVERYWHERE WE GOOO
people wanna knoooww
PEOPLE WANNA KNOOOWW
where did we find him
WHERE DID WE FIND HIM
this is what we tell them
THIS IS WHAT WE TELL THEM
we found him living in a cave
WE FOUND HIM LIVING IN A CAVE
he’s big and strong and f**king brave
HES BIG AND STRONG AND f**king BRAVE
what do we call him
WHAT DO WE CALL HIM
we call him captain caveman
WE CALL HIM CAPTAIN CAVEMAN

He’s our Neanderthal Man
He’s our Neanderthal Man
Let’s play Soccer
with our neanderthal Man

Ooostland Ooostland

Let’s watch him run along the wing.
And kick lumps, as all the Saints fans sing.

Caveman. Neanderthal. Kind of reminds you of a guy who used to play for the Red Sox, doesn’t it? But did the Fenway crowd ever figure out anything more interesting to yell than “Johnny Damon (clap-clap-clap-clap-clap)”? Nope, it didn’t, just like the crowd at Gillette Stadium is never going to shout anything more original than

DEE

FEEEENCE.

Cool chants aren’t walking through that door.

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