Talking Boston sports media with Mark In The Car

Three topics to ponder: CHB, John Tomase, and whether Pat Purcell should waste money on beefing up the Boston Herald’s sport section.

Mark In The Car is on the phone. What’s up, Mark?

Yo, Matt, listen, dude. All these people who rag on Shank are retards, figuratively speaking. Take this guy Boston Blood Sox who wrote a post on how stupid and irrelevant CHB is – and then he emailed the douchebag to let him know how irrelevant he is. And then he posted the douchemeister’s six word answer, which wasn’t “your post is the greatest ever,” just to underscore how irrelevant he is. Let me tell you, Matt, when it comes to covering Boston sports, you’re irrelevant, I’m irrelevant, but Shank is like the bleeping Pope. Everybody listens to him, if only to rip him. A Pope in a world of Ian Paisleys.

But I know you don’t care for Shank The Pope of Douche, either, Mark In The Car.

No, I stopped reading him years ago. The guy can’t write one sentence without alluding to the Red Sox. I’m a bleeping Patriots fan. I don’t to need to hear that Ellis Hobbs failing to cover a wide receiver is like Billy Buckner failing to pick up a ball in the World Series in 1986, or whatever. I’m not a homoSoxual. It’s not my bag, baby.

Well put, Mark In The Car.

You know how a platoon of sports writers has left the Globe recently?

Yes?

But no football writers.

Right.

You know why?

Tell me, Mark In The Car.

Because The Globe DOESN’T HAVE ANY FOOTBALL WRITERS. They’re all a bunch of seamheads who despise football.

Come on, they have Mark Reiss…

…who’s basically a blogger with a paycheck. Here’s the prototypical Mike Reiss question at a Bill Belichick press conference: Your team has an offense, can you talk about the qualities of it and what it brings to the team?

Mark In The Car, listen to me. He could ask Belichick anything and the answer would be the same. In the best interest of the team. It is what it is. We can all play better, coach better, prepare better. Blah, blah, blah.

He could bring something. Something off the wall. Like the guy who asked Bill about what his mom thinks about the way he dresses during games. The setup for that question was outstanding.

I know, I know, Mark In The Car. That was classic.

But it would never have happened had it not been for the Boston Herald. And now fans want to run poor John Tomase out of town for quoting an unnamed source.

Tomase. Speaking of bloggers with a paycheck…

Yeah, so the guy can’t tell football from soccer or soccer from synchronized swimming but at least he’s is trying to play journalist. You know, occasionally asking uncomfortable questions, writing articles that aren’t suck-up jobs to the team owners. Hey, if Belichick hadn’t misinterpreted the rrrrrules there would never have been an unnamed source. But fans are acting as if Tomase tripped Hobbs in the Super Bowl.

Yeah, it’s kind of sad. But it was a tough, tough loss for Patriots fans and they want to vent.

Yeah, if only the players had cared half as much as us fans…

They cared enough, they just didn’t believe they could possibly lose. They were almost right. Any one of four or five plays on the last Giants drive alone would have won the game for us. But it is what it is. We’re moving on. Kansas City. Hey, Mark In The Car, what do you think of Adam Riley’s idea that the Herald should go mano-a-mano against the Globe in sports coverage?

I saw that. Listen, man, the guy’s an idiot. What would the Herald get out of doing that, besides maybe winning a prize for best sports coverage in East Central New England? There’s no way a newspaper can recoup that kind of investment these days. Hiring seven people, how much is that? North of half a rock, I guarantee you that. How are they going to get that money back?

Not going to happen. I agree, it’s a hare-brained idea. But the guy’s a bust, anyway, so who cares?

He’s the Andy Katzenmoyer of media critics.

How very CHB of you, MITC.

I read the blogs. I’m jiggy with the haters. Rut ro. w00t, w00t. Air quotes.

Anything else, Mark In The Car?

Yeah, did you know that the median age of Massachusetts residents increased from 36.5 in 2000 to 38.5 in 2007, according to population estimates by the United Sta…

Bye, Mark, see you next Tuesday.