Mumbles juice
For a man who has a poker up his rear-end over bottled water, Boston’s Mayor Thomas M. Menino doesn’t mind using Polar Beverages to drive visitors to Downtown Crossing (don’t forget to wear your stab-proof kevlar vest if you go!). Suburban shoppers can find $1-off coupons for Polar Beverages products that also serve as invitations to “shop in Downtown Crossing this holiday season.” I imagine that tap-water fanatics – how can you not trust water from pipes overseen by the likes of Diane Wilkerson*? – will argue that Mumbles’s bottles are unobjectionable since Polar has dropped a crushed a grape and a little fizz in each one of them. As we all know, commercially grown fruit require no fresh water irrigation at all.
Fer cripes sake. Downtown Crossing? Newbury Street, people, Newbury Street. OK, compromise: Do your holiday shopping at Downtown Crossing and your Christmas shopping on Newbury Street.
* Bra size? 1G!
